{"id":4895,"date":"2026-04-28T08:56:15","date_gmt":"2026-04-28T05:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/?p=4895"},"modified":"2026-06-03T00:09:35","modified_gmt":"2026-06-02T21:09:35","slug":"sh-06","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/sh-06\/","title":{"rendered":"My Friend, the Number Zero"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tFree Voice\u00ab<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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This<\/span>\u00a0narrative emerges from a meditation on \u201czero\u201d \u2014 not as a mathematical digit, but as a human and social condition that embodies both emptiness and beginning at once.\nZero, despite its meaning as nothingness, carries within its essence the possibility of starting again. This is precisely what many Syrians experience upon returning to a homeland whose future is absent, and whose past has been eroded.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Returnees to Syria do not return to themselves. \u00a0<\/span>
\u2014 Yassin Al-Maslakh<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Syrians, as a rule, write about what they wish from this geography they call a homeland \u2014 a long list of postponed desires: freedom, coexistence, justice for those whose rights were stripped away, and genuine efforts to rise from the ruins of everything that has collapsed.

Many Syrians return carrying within them a desire for a new beginning with the country they were once forced to leave.
Last night, we were a group of people who had lived outside the country for long periods. We sat together, trying to share what remained of our stories \u2014 or what had begun to form of them upon our return.\nIt did not take long before the phrase emerged \u2014 one that expands in meaning even as it shortens in words, and one that everyone understands instinctively: \u201cIt feels like I\u2019m starting from zero.\u201d<\/strong>.

Here, zero is no longer a number. It is no longer a symbol of absence or void.\n\nIt has become a human and social condition \u2014 part of the collective memory of Syrians, a memory that may differ in detail from one person to another, but shares a deeper core: a quiet, persistent insistence on rising again.\n\nA beginning called \u201czero\u201d \u2014 even if one believes they have already walked a long road through years of exile.

Perhaps this relationship with zero began in 2011, with the start of the popular uprising against a system of entrenched authoritarianism.\n\nFrom that \u201cbeginning,\u201d everything seemed open to redefinition. There was a collective desire to start from zero together \u2014 to search again for meaning: the meaning of life, the meaning of homeland, and the meaning of being human in this place.

As the path unfolded, the country became burdened by war, by chaos, and by millions of fragmented stories carried into exile.\n\nExile was never a familiar choice for Syrians. I remember clearly when the idea of leaving was not part of everyday life. Today, it has become a near-universal experience for those who hold this identity.

Returnees to Syria do not return to themselves.\n\nIn exile, we learned how to reconstruct ourselves \u2014 how to present versions of ourselves that could survive in new societies. But what no one told us is that return is not recovery.\n\nIt is another beginning \u2014 more complex, more fragile.\n\nThe family you left behind is no longer the same. And you are no longer the same person either.\n\nYou sit among them and realize you must begin again: create new memories, build a shared language, reconstruct yourself from a tired and fragile memory.\n\nAnd so you understand, in some quiet way, that you are starting from zero \u2014 trying to re-enter a life you once believed was already yours.<\/p>\n

It does not stop with family. Even with friends, you find yourself explaining again:\n\nWhat has changed in you?\n\nWhat no longer feels familiar?\n\nWhat do you need now to feel okay?\n\nAs though you are redefining yourself repeatedly, in a language you never fully mastered.<\/p>\n

And so the sentence keeps returning, in different places, on different tongues: \u201cIt feels like I\u2019m starting from zero.\u201d<\/strong>It is not a complaint so much as it is an admission \u2014 an acknowledgment that something has changed us, that what we will become has not yet taken shape, and that despite everything, we are still learning how to endure.

For this reason, zero seems to have become a quiet companion in Syrian life: in revolution, in departure, in survival, and in return.\n\nAlways, there is a beginning imposed upon us \u2014 or chosen by us \u2014 only for us to discover that we are standing once again at the same point.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\tWritten by:<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\tYassin Al-Maslakh<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u064a\u0646\u0637\u0644\u0642 \u0647\u0630\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u0646\u0635 \u0627\u0644\u0633\u0631\u062f\u064a \u0645\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u0623\u0645\u0644 \u0641\u064a “\u0627\u0644\u0635\u0641\u0631”\u060c \u0644\u064a\u0633 \u0628\u0648\u0635\u0641\u0647 \u0631\u0642\u0645\u0627\u064b \u0631\u064a\u0627\u0636\u064a\u0627\u064b\u060c \u0628\u0644 \u0643\u062d\u0627\u0644\u0629 \u0625\u0646\u0633\u0627\u0646\u064a\u0629… <\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4951,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reflective-narrative-essay"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":6}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4895"}],"version-history":[{"count":51,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7502,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4895\/revisions\/7502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4951"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/malathinitiative.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}